“Believe in yourself.” Yeah, right!?
We all know that cliché. It has either lost its meaning or been taken to extremes, leading to self-entitlement rather than fostering a healthier connection with ourselves and others. When practiced in extremes, it turns into arrogance.
But have you ever wondered what a healthy implementation of this actually looks like?
I did - especially after realizing that part of my fears stemmed from repeatedly “betraying” myself.
How?!
- Failing to stop a bad habit.
- Starting things and not finishing them.
- Taking on more than I can handle.
- Saying I will do something and not following through.
- Setting unrealistic plans and failing to execute them.
Sounds familiar!? Then keep reading…
As someone passionate about human potential and development and raised with the importance of “Ikra,” I was constantly reading, learning, researching, and implementing. I was smashing it—until I lost it. This leads me to my first point:
1. Know Your Limits
Losing trust in yourself because you let yourself down is not always easy to recognize. Sometimes, we simply take on more than we can handle, leading to burnout. Other times, we don’t use our full capacity and instead comfort ourselves with the bare minimum, knowing deep inside that we are capable of more. Yet, we often find excuses for our actions (or inactions) and lack self-awareness and accountability. This is the Ego trap. The Ego keeps us in extremes, while the authentic self is found in balance.
Think about it: if someone repeatedly tells you they will do something (or stop doing something) and they don’t, are you still going to trust that person? No, right? The same applies to yourself.
So, “believe in yourself” is not just some empty magical affirmation. Like any affirmation, it requires action; otherwise, it’s just wishful thinking.
Let me break it down in a practical way: if you no longer trust yourself because you’ve let yourself down too many times, the belief formed is: “Believe in myself? Yeah, right!? I've let myself down a thousand times.” To shift this mindset, you need to regain your trust. Just as in relationships with others, trust must be rebuilt through actions. Ask yourself:
“If someone else were treating me the way I treat myself, what would I need them to do to regain my trust?”
Figure it out and then take action. Actions should be aligned with your lifestyle and current commitments. It’s crucial to be realistic about your situation and not spread yourself too thin. Start small, so you can gradually build confidence in your capabilities and dedication. From there, your discipline and productivity will naturally increase.
2. Focus on the WHY (The Intention)
Beliefs + Thoughts → Frequency → Action → Reality
Our beliefs and thoughts set us on a particular frequency, which influences our actions and ultimately shapes our reality.
To explain frequency simply: if we practice gratitude, we uplift ourselves. If we complain, we bring ourselves down.
Let’s try it now:
- Close your eyes and think of something that frustrates you… Ugh, not nice, right?
- Now, close your eyes again and think of something you are grateful for. الحمد لله. That felt good, didn’t it?
31:12 – “Be thankful to God: whoever gives thanks benefits his own soul, and as for those who are thankless - God is self-sufficient, worthy of all praise.”
Our beliefs and thoughts are based on past experiences, so accepting that change doesn’t happen overnight is crucial. In fact, 90 - 95% of our thoughts are the same as the day before. That’s why we must be mindful of what we choose to consume daily.. what goes in, comes out.
Pay attention to your internal dialogue. Be patient with yourself; even the Quran was revealed to the Prophet ﷺ gradually.
25:33 – “The disbelievers also say, ‘Why was the Qur’an not sent down to him all at once?’ We sent it in this way to strengthen your heart [Prophet]; We gave it to you in gradual revelation.”
Your WHY (intention) is unique to you. A tip: as social beings, we often feel a stronger drive to accomplish things when our purpose extends beyond self-gratification.
Your WHY helps you enjoy the journey rather than obsessing over the outcome.
3. Now Is the New Later
If we focus too much on the outcome, we set ourselves up for a life of anxiety. And if we dwell on the past, we struggle to move forward.
I mentioned internal dialogue earlier. To create a new life, stop living in the past. The only things we can do about our past are:
- Learn from it.
- Accept it.
- Seek forgiveness.
- Be grateful.
That’s it—repent and move on. Stop victimizing yourself. Set a course. Choose your “ideal version” by reflecting on:
- How does your day look?
- What do you eat and drink?
- What do you watch and read?
- How do you relax?
- Who do you spend time with?
- How do you spend your time?
- What do you wear?
“If you don’t set yourself a position, you will be assigned one.” – Yana
Finish what you’ve started. Let go of what no longer aligns with you. Use your intuition to decide what to complete and what to release.
Free up mental and physical space. Be conscious of every choice you make.
When I decided to make My Hijab available to you, I was consciously focused on:
- Setting a clear intention and boundaries of commitment.
- Letting go of control, allowing things to unfold, and practicing acceptance.
- Working in harmony with my feminine energy of ease rather than masculine hustle.
- Doing my best and believing that the outcome is from Allah.
33:3 – “And put your trust in Allah, for Allah is sufficient as a Trustee of Affairs.”
That’s it for now! Thank you for reading my first blog. I truly hope this has been beneficial and helps make your journey a little easier, just as this knowledge has done for me. If you enjoyed it, subscribe and get notified when the next one drops. More insights, reflections, and real talk coming your way
With love,
Yana
